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We've been friends for more than 20 years, who has overcome several challenges, her resilience is commendable. Yet, she's often taken by surprise by people. Her partner left her, and it was a huge shock. A lot of close acquaintances disappeared then, because they seemed only interested in the spouse. It shocked her. She made more effort toward our bond, likely realised better the essence of true friendship.

Ongoing Issues of Disappearance

In the time since, many of her friends vanished and she isn't knowing the cause. Her last employer became hostile, despite the fact that she was very skilled at her work, and she left not understanding why things shifted.

Current Dynamics

Recently, both of us retired and are seeing each other more, however, I feel my position in our friendship feels one-sided. I start subjects but she shifts them to her own topics. Politically, she expresses strong opinions. I try to propose double-checking information and alternate views.

She is planning a trip to a country I have traveled to many times and resided in previously. I attempted to provide personal experiences, yet it was not welcomed. She essentially just desired my agreement with her choices. I've just returned from a month in that country she hopes to catch up, but I don't.

Evaluating the Situation

I hesitate in this role who cuts and runs without a word, yet I doubt she'll truly understand the impact of how she acts on my confidence. Currently, I am in distancing myself. What's the best step?

Possible Paths

It's possible to walk away, but it is not often a smooth outcome we imagine. Yet having a direct talk with a view to a solution takes courage and willingness on both your parts.

Therapists recommend applying a useful conflict resolution tool:

"Step one involves describing the usual pattern when you talk. This needs to be objective and clear like what a recording device would replay. Step two is to express how this affects you emotionally. There should be no dispute about this. Your feelings belong to you, after all. Finally is to question how the two of you going to change the pattern between you."

Remember that she also holds perspectives, thus requiring you to remain ready to hear that. One effective method is telling your friend:

"Now you talk while I will not say anything for half an hour."

It's remarkably impactful in fostering understanding.

Closing Considerations

Your friend might reject everything, as some people hold onto a self-protecting mindset: they maintain a story regarding their experiences they're unable to let go of since their identity depends upon it and it's all familiar to them. This poses a challenge because there's no easy route with these people, just dead ends. However, she might at first react defensively then consider about what you've said. And even if you never reach an agreement, it provides peace knowing you were open and direct.